Nutrition Analysis: Hooman Food

It seems that we are stuck here on vacation for awhile so I should start conducting research on this foreign planet place to ensure our chances of survival and extraction.

After one week the crew roomies and I got sick of consuming nutrient brews for every meal of the day. Although the security buddy seemed content with the simple, bland taste of them, perhaps due to their advanced military training it takes to get a security position on a vessel of our caliber.

Since our normal hooman roommate Derek scolded us for not cleaning up the dishes, I inquired for him to take us out to eat some exquisite hooman food stuffs. Derek offered to treat us but since he was low on currency he decided to take us to get some of the "fast food".

"Does this food travel at a faster rate through the digestive track? Is the food thrown at you and you must catch it in your mouth? Must you eat the food quickly before it melts?" these are among the few questions we barraged Derek with but he simply told us "We just have to experience it for ourselves".

We pulled up to the side of the McDonald's and Derek started conversing with the food menu. As if speaking a language different from normal hooman he asked for mysterious items such as big macs, mcdoubles, chicken mcnuggets, large fries, mcflurries, medium coca-cola, and sprites. He drove to the next window and within a couple hooman minutes the food was exchanged for one piece of green paper.

When we returned home all of the food was devoured within 15 hooman minutes..... we all quickly grew very tired and one by one fell asleep.